Thursday, January 23, 2014

What not to do in the IITs - a serious discussion, not Chetan Bhagat-ish


What not to do in the IITs - a serious discussion, not Chetan Bhagat-ish.

Prasanna Rajagopal
Votes by Siddarth Reddy, Prasanna Ravikumar, Abishake Koul, Anonymous, and 2395 more.Cortsey:http://cheekymonkey.quora.com/
I thought about this long and hard. I came to the conclusion: it is a waste of my time. I'm almost sure that it wouldn't serve the purpose intended. But...but since it's in the back of my head, clawing and just won't go away, I'm going to do what I do best - Write it down and forget about it.

And hey, don't comment on my swearing or my calling people names. I'm a sarcastic, cynical, potty-mouthed son of a bitch. There, I said it.




I'm not fucked up. My current situation is alright but I could have done a lot better. Thing is, maybe you'll read this and stop from fucking it all up. Or maybe not. I don't care. I'll just say it. Do what you want to.


Don't go loose-cannon:


  Coaching was a hard time. I know. It's time to tuck out the shirt and take some time off, right? If you think so, you are more retarded than my aunt who thought guinea pigs were god's way of putting angels on the earth. Enough about her, though.
  

  You are seventeen, kid. You don't know fuck-all about anything. Yeah, you passed the exam. That exam that half a million other students write and only thousands get in. 

  Not an achievement. Not in the long run. And if you are not here to understand about the long run then close the tab and go back to the porn.
 
  Listen to me and listen well. Don't go full retard. Don't do stuff because it's cool and every other retard kid with you is doing it. I'll get to the cool part later. Just stay grounded for the first semester, will you? If you still feel the need to go rambo-style, then do it. Later. Until then, keep that tail tucked between your legs and hit the books. 


Learn to learn:

  
  There are many guys and gals who have good grades and great prospects. There is a subset of them that knows nothing and learns nothing. This set of people simply regurgitates. Yeah, I know, it's disgusting. 

  They'll tell you it's the only way to get good grades. They're fools. It's not. No nine pointer ever does that vomiting shit in the exam even though we like to point them out and call them muggus. 

  The toppers are the ones that actually learn stuff. Maybe some of them don't socialize well but hey, if you like do something why care about the dimwits around you? 
  
   Learn. Actually learn shit. There is a huge number of attention-deficit people that can't sit down and read a book cover to cover. They just can't do it. Welcome to the elite of the student society where reading books is just not hip any more. 

Here's how you can easily learn stuff.
  •      Decide what shit you want to learn (quantum computing, elephant taming, why ponies are evil, whatever )
  •      Look it up on the interwebz** and find a good book
  •      Go to the library and read it cover-to-cover.
  •      Still nothing? Read one more book on the same shit.
  
  Who knows, you might even get interested in something and start working on it. And maybe hit on something big. Next thing you know - you're the real life Tony Stark and everybody is kissing your arse.

**We are at the pinnacle of an internet revolution and we are using it up, one megabyte at a time on furry porn.

Get a life!

   
   Well, if there is one thing I can say I did - it's this. I did have a life. I had good times. I had a hobby. Hobbies. I did things because I liked to. You'll be surprised by the number of people that do nothing other than the standard insti shit. They can't do shit without this degree. They know nothing else. Don't be that person.

  You don't have to join the clubs. They are all pretentious bastards anyway. If you have the resolve to do things your way, alone, then do it. But some people need the nudge. Then I guess you should start with the clubs.


Be street-smart:

  
  I'm not talking bargaining. You're in India. Of course, you are good at bargaining. I'm talking about the technical things that all courses and all disciplines require at some point or the other. Matlab, Latex, basic algorithms, getting stuff done on the pc, etc. 
  
  If you can't write good code, you're going to be asking people to explain things and help you out, every turn. And it's fucking frustrating. I don't want to pick your garbage. Sometimes you can get a job done quicker if you can code your way out. 

Oh, and the best way to learn C in 21 days? There isn't. You are not fucking Einstein, so shut up and spend some time on it.

  

And Latex. Learn that shit. Can't stress this enough, boy. That shit will save your life. Word is a shitty app and it gets shittier as your report gets longer and more technical. You can either get it done in half-time with Latex or go for hours formatting and font-picking in Word and for what? You could spend that time reading a book and learn real shit, instead of how to change indenting in Word. 

And how do you learn latex in two and a half days? That's right, you are catching up, aren't you.


The Vices:

   
  Alright, kid. Now it's time to really listen. Close the other tabs. Yeah, that one too. Oh, it's buffering? Then leave that one open. Anyway, listen. 
   

   If you are half as smart as I think you are, then you probably have a few inhibitions about these stuff. That's good. As long as you are grounded, you won't find yourself in bed, vomit on your shirt, head pounding and your breath smelling like vodka.

  Well, I have to accommodate all kinds of people. Most of them go full retard in the first year and these are the ones that hit the booze too soon. The problem is not the booze, though. Everybody drinks, even the professors. Especially the professors. Can't blame them. Research is hard work, long hours. And they gotta teach fuck-tards like us...like you. Problem is this : booze is a beginning and it leads to something called party mentality. 

   This is what happens. After partying long and hard, these so-called cool guys want to blast the music on full sound all the time.
They want booze every weekend. 
They want booze if it's a national holiday. 
Or a rainy day when classes get cancelled.
Or a sunny day when "it's a very pleasant mausam".
They want booze every time Anna Hazare protests. 
They want booze when the Roadrunner outwits Wile. E -the-fucking- Coyote. 

These people don't have a life. 
   
  Their idea of fun is hitting the booze, getting a buzz, doing retarded shit and going to sleep. This is their only idea of fun. If you have a hobby, you are saved or you'll end up like that one day. 

  Start painting. Or writing. Or singing. You could even try guitar but that shit is too lame. Everyone does guitar. Do violin. Or better, do cello. Ladies love the cello player. Don't look at me. I'm a writer. Since when did writers get laid?




Well, that's it really. What do you want, a fucking book and a certificate of completion?

Frankly, I don't think you'll listen to me. Who am I but a guy typing on a keyboard. You'll read this again, two years or three years from now and think "Yep, he did give me a heads up." 

But you didn't listen, did you? You fucked it up fifty ways to Friday and now you're here and you don't even regret it. 
Well, shit happens. 
Now, move on, son. 
We got incoming.

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